***This is a sequel. Go here for a review of the first book in the series, So Sweet***
I absolutely loved the first book in this series, So Sweet, and I rushed to the kindle store when Rebekah announced So Right had been published. Heads up I’m going to talk about some spoilers. If you don’t like spoilers, click the back button.
Kayla and Michael’s story continues in So Right with the adoption of two puppies, the purchase of a Miami basketball team…and a completely bungled proposal.
The last two are the central focus of the book. Michael has always loved basketball, and was on the verge of buying a team in the first book. That deal fell through, but a scandal means that the Miami team is suddenly open for sale. Miami had never been on the table, and the changes create tension between Michael and Kayla. The purchase also shines a spotlight on their relationship, including media buzz critiquing their relationship (interracial, big age difference) and criticizing Kayla for not being skinny. (There’s a moment where she’s presented with a basketball jersey clearly meant for the skinny type of woman the team’s PR was expecting).
The other, bigger, source of tension between our lovebirds is that Michael proposes by giving Kayla a prenup. She’s shaken and incredibly uncomfortable with this. Not because of the pre-nup, per se, as much as it is about the fact that Michael didn’t do the romantic proposal first. He just went straight to that. Kayla has trouble finding her voice to get into it with Michael over this, and their relationship is off balance for much of the book because of it.
The reasons I got into these spoilers were because while I loved So Right, I feel like the ending was rushed and things were resolved too easily. The publicity around them as a couple and Kayla’s distance over the manner in which Michael proposed were really rich topics that I think Weatherspoon could have done more with. I think that Michael’s flaw felt real, and that it was an issue worked. But I wonder if that’s something that we’ll see come up again because like after one argument everything was fine.
It’s so refreshing to see a plus-sized heroine who doesn’t get magically thin, and who is unapologetic and confident. Giving her the obstacle of public scrutiny is something that, as a plus sized reader, I want to see her deal with further, and I hope we see more of that in the next installment.
That said, I really enjoyed So Right, and am eagerly awaiting the next chapter of Kayla and Michael’s story. 4/5 stars
I was complaining online how infrequently I get to see couples like my own (my partner is Indian American, I’m white) having sex on the page without it being some horrible colonial tale set in the British Raj. I wanted something contemporary. Someone, though I’ve forgotten who (Sorry!) recommended I pick upGlutton for Pleasure. I did, and and I’ve been an Alisha Rai fan ever since.
Glutton For Punishment features chef Devi Malik and not one, but two sexy twins in the hottest menage love story I’ve ever read. I’m shocked my kindle didn’t melt when I reached the sex scenes. The sex scenes are worth revisiting over and over.
It’s not just sex, though–can Devi find more than just kinky sex with Jace and Marcus? (And what will her family think?) Even without the hot, kinky sex, the story has emotional pull, and kept my interest.
I also devoured the sequel, Serving Pleasure, about Devi’s older sister Rana. Rana is trying to reform her bad girl ways and find the kind of man her mother would want her to marry. But Micah, the painter next door, is too tempting to resist. (Named one of the Top 5 Romances of 2015 by the Washington Post–Congratulations, Alisha!)
The chemistry between Rana and Micah is as intense as a building storm, with a great payoff. Rana’s push-me-pull-you of figuring out if she wants to be who people think she should be versus who she is relate-able for every reader. Micah’s past is complex and that bleeds into their relationship.
I am eagerly awaiting the third book in this trilogy.
I’m a huge Greek Mythology geek (Ms 7’s middle name is Athena), and I am all over innovative approaches to the Greek Gods (Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan, Redeeming Cupid by Oleander Plume, P. C. Cast has a series of romances, etc). So when I saw that Alisha had written Hot as Hades, I immediately downloaded it on my kindle app.
I’m going to let Alisha tell you about this one herself
Contemporary fans: my contemp voice is strong and will never die no matter genre. Fantasy fans: It has a three headed dog butler that talks.
My opinion–I was laughing nearly as much as I was rooting for Hades/Persephone. I thought her take was fresh and fun on a love story that has been retold many times. It was a fast, sexy read, and I’d love to see her do more Greek mythology based stories.
I’ve read a number of Alisha’s other books, but am still working my way through her backlist.
My next read is A Gentleman on the Street which features a woman billiionaire. I’m happy to see ladies get some equal screen time with all those male billionaires.
It also must be said that Alisha’s twitter is a must read. Follow her here and hear her riff on pop culture and educate you on why you should stop calling people exotic among other topics. She’s also great at responding to twitter fans.
Personal note-I reached out to Alisha for advice on my cover for Capturing the Moment and she took the time to respond. She is as nice as she is talented.
Brandon Russo is having another hot, boring day at work. Scott Seay is a photographer on the trail of Champy, the lake monster said to live in Lake Champlain. Their paths intersect when Scott is knocked off his bike and Brandon is the good Samaritan who helps Scott get medical attention. An attraction sparks instantly.
I really enjoyed this fast, sweet read.
Scott (a photographer who has an open mind about things like Champy) and Brandon (working at his aunt’s storage facility) are both very likeable characters. They interact and banter well, and their attraction is believable. Alison (Brandon’s older sister and a nurse) is a great secondary character.
The setting (the storage facility, for the most part) is not one I’ve run into before in erotica, but it works surprisingly well. This is a running theme for me when it comes to Lynn’s stories–another one of my favorites of hers, Holidays Hours (from Coming Together: For the Holidays) takes place in a convenience store. She has the ability to take a unconventional setting and make it the backdrop for a sweet love story.
My only real complaint is that it’s such a short read. I’m greedy, and I like Lynn’s stories, so I always want more.
Pick up your copy on Kindle for 3.99 (also available as an e-book from other e-tailers)
Tamsin gives us boiling hot sex when Harry and Olivia’s relationship continues to evolve in this installment of Alchemy XII.
In my review of Alchemy XII: January I made a point of talking about how Olivia–a strong independent woman who came of age during third-wave feminism–struggles with submission. In February, we see this struggle continue internally for Olivia and externally in and out of the bedroom with Harry.
We get a glimpse of Olivia’s life outside of erotica, and learn that Harry knows all about it–her twin, where she works, and more. Harry even slips into a lecture and raises his hand to tell Professor Olivia Roux that her formula on the board is wrong. Olivia is furious and points out that what he’s doing could be classified as stalking. Harry shrugs and hands her an envelope with orders to be ready at midnight and to be dressed like a slut.
Olivia made a rash promise to Raf in the New Year’s Eve chapter (review here), and now she has to keep it–that she will submit to him. Harry takes her to Master Blasters where Raf is waiting for them in a private room. We already know that Raf washed out the training program, but we don’t know why. The scene that follows gives us a hint of what might have gone wrong for Raf when Harry has to intervene.
In the wake of her encounter with Raf, Olivia becomes torn between the ecstasy that pain can bring and her struggle with submission. Her feminist principles are at war with what Harry has to offer her.
Man as drug. Dependency ensues.
This scares me because Harry isn’t even pretending to be my boyfriend. He’s got three other subs, whom he’s putting through the same training. Does he kiss them? Yes, of course he does. And fuck them? Presumably. These thoughts are making me cranky. I want to talk stuff through with someone. With Harry. But he’s not available to me and, even if he were, he controls where all our conversations go.
Oh, I like the pain but do I want to submit to him? Call my lover “Sir”? Interact from a kneeling position on the floor? Is becoming a sub the only way to fulfill my needs?
Today I don’t want to do this. Not the submission. Perhaps I could find myself a man who’s willing to give me what I need without being kowtowed to in exchange. That’s all. No more training or clubs or sub-bating. I’m going to duck out of the program and find another way.
I’ve made up my mind, so this will be my last diary entry.
Olivia wants to tell Harry that she is quitting in person. She goes to the building where Alchemy is located, and is told that there is no such place there. The concierge denies knowing who Harry Lomax is. So Olivia tries to send Harry a letter. It’s sent back “Not known at this address.”
She is fuming by the time a note arrives with her instructions for their February training session. She doesn’t do any of the things she’s been ordered to, except to get into the car where Harry is waiting. He distracts her with his particular brand of addictive kisses until they arrive at a small airport where a private jet awaits them.
I’m not sure I want to continue training with you.”
The words all spilled out in a rush.
Harry laughed. Laughter was the last thing I expected and my temper got the better of me. Without a moment’s thought of the consequences, I slapped him across his left cheek. Hard. Hard enough to show him the depth of my anger.
He put a hand up to his cheek but the smile never left his face.
“Jesus, I adore you, Liv,” he said. “Come on the plane and if you can convince me you want to leave, I’ll have pilot come back here straight away. But if I can convince you to stay, we’ll carry on and you’ll take your punishment for that slap.”
Will Olivia quit Alchemy or can Harry convince her to stay? You’ll have to read Alchemy XII February to find out.
For my review of Alchemy xii: New Years Eve, go here.
The January chapter of Alchemy xii begins the series proper. While New Year’s Eve was written from Harry’s point of view, January and the rest of the series will be told from Olivia’s. While it marks a shifts in tone, the reader in no way loses Harry’s perspective while gaining Olivia’s.
While Olivia is hungry for the man and the sexual pleasure he brings her, submission doesn’t come easily to her.
“Rules,” said Harry.
“More rules?”
“What d’you mean? We haven’t even started with rules.” He frowned at me.
“Like, already I can’t orgasm. I can’t choose my own food. I have to call you Sir, Sir.”
“Holy fuck! Do you know anything at all about submission or domination?”
“Not a lot,” I said.
“But you agreed to launch yourself headlong into it?”
“You didn’t exactly give me much time to decide, Harry.”
At least he had the decency to look contrite when I said this.
“We need to start with basics. You first weekend’s training will have to be Subbing for Dummies.”
When I’ve talked about Alchemy xii as opposed to other BDSM works, I’ve discussed why I prefer Olivia to other heroines. She is a fully formed woman with an existing interest in BDSM. She was always going to explore kink, the question was with whom. But the sexual desire to participate in kink does not mean that one is a natural all-knowing submissive (or dominant).
The reality of kink is that it is a set of skills, and no one can go from zero to suspension play without a lot of training. I really like that Tamsin includes a scene in the library (which makes for an excellent read-aloud, for the record) where, among other things, Harry loads Olivia up with books about BDSM. Subbing for Dummies, indeed.
Olivia is a strong and independent woman who doesn’t come across as particularly submissive. Partially this is set up for her to train as a switch, but it is also an honest reflection of what is like to enter into submission as a woman who came of age in the age of third wave feminism. If you were to meet me in person, you would never guess that I enjoy submission as my personality is anything but. I submit to whom I choose and when I choose. Which doesn’t mean that it always flows naturally–and in my situation that means there are weeks, even months when I don’t play. Olivia is in a contractual relationship (by her own consent) she is trying to enter submissive headspace and behavior on a set schedule. Whether she is struggling with submission or rejoicing in that, she feels familiar.
However, this is also erotica, and thus fantasy, so her struggles and experiences are far sexier than mine ever were. I appreciate the balancing act necessary to add the realism while maintaining the fantasy.
I looked around any my mouth fell open. Opposite the elevator bank, illuminated in pools of soft golden light, a row of beautiful, naked girls, stood, cuffed and collared, attached to a burnished chrome latticework on the walk behind them. As they saw Harry, they all broke out in smiles. One blew kisses, a couple of them writhed against their restraints, one called out his name. Harry returned their smiles with a wide grin.
“Evening, girls,” he said.
“Evening, Harry,” they trilled in reply.
Harry turned back to where I stood, stock still and staring.
“These are my wall-flowers.”
Some of the things I mentioned anticipating in the New Year’s Eve review did come true. We don’t see Dick Glass directly, but his presence is felt. We do get Belladonna and Olivia’s first encounter. It…doesn’t go well.
This is a great opening chapter for what promises to be a year of sexual adventure. Read New Year’s Eve, and then get ready for January. Each chapter will release on the first day of the month. January is available for pre-order on Amazon, or you can subscribe from Tamsin directly.
During the podcast, Oleander talks about how she wrote a story about aphrodisiac chocolates and posted it on her website for free. Then she thought about writing a sequel. The idea then evolved into an anthology with the erotic chocolates as a common theme.
Much like Tamsin’s Alchemy xii erotic serial, Oleander’s idea is something I haven’t seen before in erotica. While anthologies have a common theme, there’s nothing tying the individual stories together. With Chemical [se]X, while each story works as a stand-alone, the connecting thread took the collection as a whole to a new level. I want more anthologies like this.
My husband and I often read different erotic books as we have different turn-ons (with a few exceptions, like Alison Tyler), but our shared kindle account means that we can see and read the books that the other has bought. When I was reading Chemical [se]X, my kindle account would tell me that I was last at a different page because I learned that my husband was reading it at the same time I was. Much like the way we eat chocolate in real life, I devoured Chemical [se]X and my husband is slowly savoring it.
I’ve mentioned before that I read a LOT of erotica. With some exceptions (basically anything I review on this blog or authors I squeal about on a regular basis) this means I have zero issue reading erotica in public because I’m a bit desensitized. I read using my kindle app on my phone which means I’m likely to read anywhere and everywhere.
I started reading Chemical [se]X in a very long line of Christmas shoppers waiting to be checked out, beginning with the story that started it all; “Chemical [se]X” by Oleander Plume.
“You really don’t find it hot in here?”
“No, the air conditioning is really cranked up today. If you’re too warm, blame yourself for wearing those dopey socks.”
Despite his protests about the temperature, he shrugged out of his lab coat, then stood up to sharpen his pencil. I checked out his butt, it was cute, taut, and round enough to fill out the back of his faded jeans quite nicely. Another fantasy filled my head, this one of Wyatt’s naked ass bent over my knee, slightly pink after a paddling by my hand.
I was feeling a little flushed by the time I was checked out. I knew I should stop reading Oleander’s story in public. But it was so good I couldn’t NOT read it and I had to hit the grocery store in the basement of the mall I was in before I could go home. I’ve never been so turned on while riding an escalator before in my life. I don’t expect to ever have that singular experience again, either. Gold star for you, Oleander! Oleander also contributed one of my other favorite stories–“Coffee Break”
My brain screamed at my mouth “Spit that out, some weird shit is happening,” but I literally could not stop, the chocolate had a hypnotic effect on me. Once I finished the entire piece, I stared at Zak while I licked the melted bits off my fingers. That’s when I noticed his skin was the exact same color as the chocolate, and I had the overwhelming urge to lick him, too. All. Over.
Zak and Ryan have the best banter in the book. They are an odd couple of co-workers with Ryan just NOT GETTING half of what Zak means when he uses words like “pansexual.” But by the end of the story there is an electric m/m/m threesome. Bonus point for an interracial coupling–there aren’t enough of them.
Jade A. Waters’ story “The Connection” was the story that resonated the most for me.
“The Connection” is about a couple who have lost their way from one another. Aubrey buys the aphrodisiac chocolates, hoping that they might help her and Terrance find that old spark.
Aubrey wanted to wait for Terence, but she ached to know what these chocolates could do. Lifting the lid, she admired the six candies inside, each piece waiting for her in a black and white polka-dotted foil cup. The store clerk had explained this decorative packaging as specific to the premium box, “guaranteed to satisfy” or her money back tomorrow.
How could she resist?
I’ve been married for almost nine years, and I’m the mom of two children. One of the realities of a long term relationship like this is that there is a lot of ebb and flow to the sexual connection, especially post children. Jade nails how frustrating the isolation is, and how scary it is to reach out.
When I read this story, all I could think about was reading it out loud to my partner with some chocolate truffles nearby.
“Bittersweet” by Malin James is the most lyrical story in the anthology. Malin has a talent for paring a story down to its most essential elements that is almost poetic.
I study Iain’s strong, broad back and wonder if I should stay for one last fuck. My head is all for leaving, but my cunt…my cunt wants a final go. Absentmindedly, I pop a truffle in my mouth. It’s smooth and dark with a spikey, citrus finish. Not at all what I’d expected—more bitter than sweet. Not really to my taste. And yet…each receptor in my mouth shivers.
I loved the flow of the story from the narrator’s ambivalence to the way that her sexuality is taken in a new direction with the chocolate stimulus.
“The Stranger” by Tamsin Flowers is special for many reasons. I knew to expect hot sex–that’s a given with Tamsin. What I hadn’t expected was a story set in the deep South with such a pitch perfect voice. A Southern voice is easy to screw up and hard to get right. She nailed it.
I didn’t know how to say it to him. He was a stranger and eating the chocolate had made me desire him. I was suddenly overcome by a longing more intense than I had experienced in years. I put my hand to his groin to see if he was hard. Of course he was, and through his pants I could feel that he’d fill me up and then some.
Tamsin leaves ambiguity in the story that made my imagination run wild–why was he there? where did he go from there? Did McGrindle’s carry the special chocolates or were the women the stranger left behind praying for lightning to strike twice?
Honorable mentions go to
“Dinner for Three” by L Maretta for a really hot f/m/m threesome.
“Friendly Neighborhood Drug Dealer” by Ella Dawson for writing the finals week hookup I wish I’d had as an undergrad
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I should confess that when I finished the anthology I had a craving to write a story with Oleander’s aphrodisiac chocolate. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that she decides to do a sequel so I can write and submit one.
From the farms of Tennessee, Beau Watkins had it all in high school; the cute girl, the popular, jock lifestyle, a loving family. As a rising freshman at an out-of-state college, he’s determined to find out who he really is behind the fake it ’til you make it attitude. He joins Rainbow Connection, the gay student alliance, hoping to find himself. Instead, he finds Vin Reyes. Raised by his grandparents and the heir to a prosperous company, Vin has been out of the closet since he figured out what that meant. He has it all: fashionable clothing, fancy cars, huge houses, and a real party lifestyle, even a bodyguard. Most of all, he has a secret.
Uncomfortable with Vin’s generosity, Beau fights his growing attraction for the president of Rainbow Connection, chasing instead a series of shallow affairs. Vin’s never been denied anything that he wants, though, and now he wants Beau. But it’s not until an old rival puts Beau in the hospital that Vin realizes that Beau means more to him than a simple love affair. Can the two of them bridge the gap between their worlds and roll with the all the punches life will throw at them (goodreads description)
Before I get into Beau and Vin, I need to share that over the course of the book I fell for Ann-Marie. She’s another member of Rainbow Connection that becomes one of Beau’s closest friends. She’s funny, she’s brassy, and oh my god the speech she gives about why she wants to be a teacher just made me fall all that much harder for her. Ann-Marie has joined my ever growing list of fictional crushes. We should make #fictionalcrushes a thing–tag me (@Delilah_Night) if you tweet yours.
Roll is a romance. You see the attraction between Beau and Vin from both points of view. This can be frustrating at times as the reader sees all the missed signals and understand the depth of emotion long before they do.
While we get to know and love Vin (when we don’t want to smack him for drinking rather than dealing with his shit), this story is primarily Beau’s. Beau is a sweetheart, but not a pushover. Over the course of the novel, it’s Beau who comes out to himself, to his friends, and to his family. He’s a college freshman, so there’s also the experience of trying to build community in a new city, and shedding who you were in high school so that you can become who you’re going to be as an adult. Beau also has his first sexual encounters in Roll. In many ways, it is his coming of age novel.
Vin, for his part, at first glance is a rich playboy who drinks as much as he wants to instead of perhaps the limits of what could be considered wise. Over the course of the book, though, what could have been a superficial character shows the depth of his feelings. We also learn what events in his past influenced who he is and how he copes with things. The book ends with a cliffhanger that seems to indicate (to me) that the next story will center a bit more on him. I look forward to that, and the revelations I hope we’ll learn.
As a couple they deal with not just the ordinary struggles, but their massive class disparity as well. I’m really grateful that Lynn has her characters confront it head on, rather than just have the “poor” partner accept gifts like it’s no big deal. My husband and I had a class disparity (although nothing this massive) and it is something that does affect the power dynamic (even if it’s only in your head) and can expose insecurities. It was refreshing to not see it swept under the rug.
Lynn peppers her world with memorable secondary characters like Hector (who makes terrible puns on his name, but in a way this is disarming and endearing), the aforementioned Ann-Marie, and Shannon (Ann-Marie’s girlfriend who speaks fluent sarcasm). Beau’s scenes with his mother and his Aunt Lucy were written with such poignancy that even though I didn’t know them as well as other characters, I could feel the depth of their history with and love for Beau.
I should give a heads up that there is some anti-gay violence in the book that reminds me exactly how liberal a part of the country I’m from. If anything, Lynn’s recent encouter online reminds us that while momentum is gathering big picture (such as in the area of Marriage Equality), the day to day experience of being LGBT still involves bigotry and violence.
I really enjoyed Roll, and I think the best indication of that is how impatient I am for the sequel Blues to come out (March 25, 2015).
***Full Disclosure–My story “Love is a Virus” (excerpt here) is in Lynn’s upcoming anthology Among the Stars. However, this is an unbiased review.***
The schoolgirl is an iconic sex symbol. I certainly own a plaid skirt, and bought a faux Hogwarts sexy schoolgirl costume for Halloween one year because of my own weakness for the schoolgirl look. The problem for the author and the schoolgirl skirt fetishist is to make it sexy and “real” without sliding into the “ick” factor, which can be a delicate balancing act. Luckily we have these three authors keeping us flushed red as the plaid of our skirts and loosening the buttons of our little white shirts with their very different takes on the subject.
I’ve Got a New Girl Now by Sommer Marsden
“Please Mr. Parker. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”
“I don’t think so. Veronica, I’ve got a new girl now.” He walks the perimeter of the room with his hands behind his back and I tap the toe of my saddle shoe to the floor. Hardwood floors that I have scrubbed for him. While reciting math facts! And here he is talking about a new girl.
Mr. Parker keep tormenting Veronica by telling her about the new girl as she does everything she can to please him. Who is this new girl? You’ll have to wait until the end to find out.
The more of Sommer’s work that I read, the more I love her writing. Sommer has a talent of taking the clichéd and putting a unique twist on it, making it new all over again. This story is one more example of that at work.
A Lesson in Lust by Sophia Valenti
She and I may have both been dressed in campy schoolgirl fashion, but she was the bad girl I’d never dared to be–and just the sort of bad girl I’d always wanted
I like my men nerdy. I like my men sweet. I like my men quirky. I like my women bad. Bad girls have done it for me for ages, both in fiction and in real life. I avoided the bad boys, but I’ve fallen prey to a bad girl or two in my time. And I would follow this particular bad girl anywhere she told me to. The first person narrator remains nameless, so the reader has no trouble stepping into her shoes…shoes I’ll likely step into a number of times.
Want by Alison Tyler
Vincent had Lia over his lap, and he was punishing her sweet, sassy ass with a paddle. I’d seen that ass swish down the hallway. I had seen it when she’d bent over to unload the laundry. Seen it when she went prancing out the door in a far too-short schoolgirl skirt, which I now saw was in a crumpled ball on the floor. But this was my favorite time. Because he was wielding that paddle with finesse, and Lia continued to cry out and kick her heels and pound her fists useless in protest. Or mock protest.
That bitch Lia is going to get what’s coming to her. And the narrator get to watch….for a price. Alison’s BDSM twist to the schoolgirl skirt is hot, and gives us one of my new favorite phrases–“menage-a-fuck” when the narrator is trying to convince herself not to watch.
If you’ve got a weakness for schoolgirl skirts, you should pick up your copy now. While it’s a supershort book of only three stories, I’d encourage you to read them one at a time to draw out and savour the experience. The three stories are also such different takes on the theme that reading them together doesn’t create as satisfying an experience. Pick the one you’re in the mood for and you might just be inspired to pull your own skirt out of your drawer or closet…or convince your lover to wear theirs. Then proceed to the next tomorrow
After he read my review of (among other favorites) “POW! It’s Shibari Girl!” by Tamsin Flowers in my review of The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica, my husband told me that Tamsin had published a collection of zombie erotica.
Readers, I married the man for a reason. He gets me. I immediately opened my Kindle app and bought it.
This 5 story anthology by Tamsin Flowers will gross you out, make you squirm for all the right reasons, and then finish you off with a laugh.
Why does it even cross my mind to entertain this idea for a nanosecond? it’s go so many things going against it and so much about it just plain wrong. Zombie cock? The risk of death by zombie. The risk of death by marauder. A skanky club–and I hate clubs, even great clubs. Just for the chance to stick some zombie’s grey and rotting cock into my sweet tight pussy. Yeah, sure Id’ love to get back in the saddle. One day, in the scheme of things, when the right guy–who definitely isn’t gonna be Skylar–comes along. But I don’t want to screw a zombie who’ll probably bite my neck in the process and undead me.
Red Hot Zombie Cock features a club where you can have sex with a chained zombie. Which, humans being humans I can totally see happening post Zombie Apocalypse.
You know that when you’re a teenager, every problem you have is magnified a million-fold. What you might not realize is that when you’re a zombie, every problem you have is also magnified a million-fold. That’s a million times a million and, as I’ve never been very good at math, I’m going to leave you to work out the answer for yourself. It’s a fucking lot, if you can’t be bothered to work it out either.
I was a Teenage Zombie Virgin features the sweetest end to a zombie love story.
But, ultimately, screwing zombies wasn’t satisfying, wasn’t much of a turn on, after the first few weeks. He did it to scratch the itch but, more and more, Stanley found himself dreaming of a wholesome, young, uninfected human flesh. Ripe, peachy girls with a pink flush of health and no scabby scales or sores or missing body parts. God, what he wouldn’t give for a piece of cheerleader squirming underneath him or a nice beach volleyball player he could lick and suck and eventually bite.
My favorite story was Peeping Zom. Not only because it features the first reference to Paul Revere I’ve ever seen in an erotic story, it showcases a zombie pervert spying on a human couple. The human sex is red hot, and the final sentence of the story made me laugh out loud.
However, the newspapers would have you believe that once you’re zombie you’re going to look gross–and that you’re going to be mind-numbingly dumb. You won’t. I’ll share a little secret with you–eating brains makes you smart–smart enough to play dumb. But new zombies always have a bit of a self image problem. It’s something you get over pretty quickly –as I said, most zombies look normal. It’s only the ones that have been undead for a really long time that start to look like they’re falling to pieces.
The Joy of Zombie Sex features a zombie Samaritan, who facilitates the transition period to being undead. Including learning about the various zombie appetites.
I pulled the top up over my head and dropped it to the floor. Then I lowered my hands to my pants and popped open the fastening. As they slid down my legs to the ground, I slipped my thumbs into the rim of my panties, running them round the waistband provocatively.
“You want to see more?” I asked.
“Is a zombie hungry?” he answered. Black humor was the only humor at a time like this.
Bar the Door is a bittersweet but sensual goodbye between lovers, one of whom has been bitten.
I realize the idea of Zombie Erotica might be a little outré, and in someone else’s hands it would never work. Tamsin, however, is mistress of making what would otherwise be a bizarre concept accessible and erotic.
But if you really can’t get your head around zombie erotica, but still need a new source of braaaaaaiins….I recommend The Newsflesh series by Mira Grant and World War Z by Max Brooks, both of which are some of the best books I’ve read in the past few years. I’m now a raging Mira Grant fangirl, and I hate the Brad Pitt movie for ruining a fantastic book.
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