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Zombie Erotoclypse by Tamsin Flowers

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After he read my review of (among other favorites) “POW! It’s Shibari Girl!” by Tamsin Flowers in my review of The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica, my husband told me that Tamsin had published a collection of zombie erotica.

Readers, I married the man for a reason.  He gets me.  I immediately opened my Kindle app and bought it.

This 5 story anthology by Tamsin Flowers will gross you out, make you squirm for all the right reasons, and then finish you off with a laugh.

Why does it even cross my mind to entertain this idea for a nanosecond?¬† it’s go so many things going against it and so much about it just plain wrong.¬† Zombie cock?¬† The risk of death by zombie.¬† The risk of death by marauder.¬† A skanky club–and I hate clubs, even great clubs.¬† Just for the chance to stick some zombie’s grey and rotting cock into my sweet tight pussy.¬† Yeah, sure Id’ love to get back in the saddle.¬† One day, in the scheme of things, when the right guy–who definitely isn’t gonna be Skylar–comes along.¬† But I don’t want to screw a zombie who’ll probably bite my neck in the process and undead me.

Red Hot Zombie Cock features a club where you can have sex with a chained zombie.  Which, humans being humans I can totally see happening post Zombie Apocalypse.

You know that when you’re a teenager, every problem you have is magnified a million-fold.¬† What you might not realize is that when you’re a zombie, every problem you have is also magnified a million-fold.¬† That’s a million times a million and, as I’ve never been very good at math, I’m going to leave you to work out the answer for yourself.¬† It’s a fucking lot, if you can’t be bothered to work it out either.

I was a Teenage Zombie Virgin features the sweetest end to a zombie love story.

But, ultimately, screwing zombies wasn’t satisfying, wasn’t much of a turn on, after the first few weeks.¬† He did it to scratch the itch but, more and more, Stanley found himself dreaming of a wholesome, young, uninfected human flesh.¬† Ripe, peachy girls with a pink flush of health and no scabby scales or sores or missing body parts.¬† God, what he wouldn’t give for a piece of cheerleader squirming underneath him or a nice beach volleyball player he could lick and suck and eventually bite.

My favorite story was Peeping Zom.¬† Not only because it features the first reference to Paul Revere I’ve ever seen in an erotic story,¬† it showcases a zombie pervert spying on a human couple.¬† The human sex is red hot, and the final sentence of the story made me laugh out loud.

However, the newspapers would have you believe that once you’re zombie you’re going to look gross–and that you’re going to be mind-numbingly dumb.¬† You won’t.¬† I’ll share a little secret with you–eating brains makes you smart–smart enough to play dumb.¬† But new zombies always have a bit of a self image problem.¬† It’s something you get over pretty quickly –as I said, most zombies look normal.¬† It’s only the ones that have been undead for a really long time that start to look like they’re falling to pieces.

The Joy of Zombie Sex features a zombie Samaritan, who facilitates the transition period to being undead.  Including learning about the various zombie appetites.

I pulled the top up over my head and dropped it to the floor.  Then I lowered my hands to my pants and popped open the fastening.  As they slid down my legs to the ground, I slipped my thumbs into the rim of my panties, running them round the waistband provocatively.

“You want to see more?” I asked.

“Is a zombie hungry?” he answered.¬† Black humor was the only humor at a time like this.

Bar the Door is a bittersweet but sensual goodbye between lovers, one of whom has been bitten.

 

I realize the idea of Zombie Erotica might be a little outr√©, and in someone else’s hands it would never work.¬† Tamsin, however, is mistress of making what would otherwise be a¬† bizarre concept accessible and erotic.

But if you really can’t get your head around zombie erotica, but still need a new source of braaaaaaiins….I recommend The Newsflesh series by Mira Grant and World War Z by Max Brooks, both of which are some of the best books I’ve read in the past few years.¬† I’m now a raging Mira Grant fangirl, and I hate the Brad Pitt movie for ruining a fantastic book.

7 Responses

  1. Thank you so much, Delilah – it thrills me when some one gets my writing and enjoys the black humor of it. xxx

  2. Reblogged this on TAMSIN'S SUPEROTICA and commented:
    Hi,
    I feel that I’ve been neglecting my poor zombie friends a little, here on Superotica, so I’m making this week an official Zombie Week! To kick things off, I’m reblogging this wonderful review by Delilah Night – thank you so much, darling Delilah! Then on Friday, I’m joining Kristina Lloyd’s cocktail craze with a special zombie post – look out for it!
    Tamsin
    xxx

  3. […] no secret that I¬†love Tamsin‘s writing.¬† (Click for my reviews of Zombie Erotocylse and Pow! Shibari […]

  4. […] Zombie Erotoclypse by Tamsin Flowers¬† **Best paranormal, 2014** […]

  5. […] my Zombie Erotoclypse collection¬†– “I was a Teenage Zombie Virgin.” As writer¬†Delilah Night says in her review of¬†Zombie Erotoclypse, this story¬†“features the sweetest end to a zombie […]

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