An interview with Meg (main character from Capturing the Moment)

I’m being hosted by the wonderful R.A. Padmos for today’s stop on my virtual book tour for Capturing the Moment. I was inspired by Lisabet Sarai’s guest post where she interviewed one of her main characters.

 

Meg

Today I’m interviewing Meg, one of my two main characters in the novella over at R.A.’s blog. Here’s a short snippet of our talk..

Delilah Night: In the novella, you only have one day in Siem Reap. What’s up with that?

Meg: Ugh, what a nightmare! I was supposed to have four days in Siem Reap. First my flight in San Francisco had a mechanical failure, so I had to be rebooked. Then, when I finally get to Beijing, I had another flight cancellation. I think I’m cursed. But despite all that, I’ve always wanted to go to Siem Reap in Cambodia and I was determined to make the most of the one day I had.

DN: How did you feel when RJ showed up while you were photographing sunrise at the Angkor Wat temple?

Meg: I was horrified! RJ and I have a really complicated history. The short version is that we were in love, got engaged, and then I broke off the engagement. It’s been six years since I last saw him, and I was totally unprepared to deal with him. But there he was, gorgeous as ever, asking me to spend the day with him.

DN: Why did you decide to spend the day with him, given your history?

Meg: Siem Reap wasn’t just my dream. We’d planned to go there on our honeymoon. I guess I thought I could go by myself and it would prove I was over him. The truth is that I was thinking of him the whole time. When he showed up and asked me to spend the day with him, I couldn’t refuse him, even though it was probably a bad idea. Besides, have you seen the man’s dimples when he smiles? They’re lethal!

DN: You decided to indulge in a one day affair to get him out of your system. How did that work out for you?

Click here to read the rest of the interview. Don’t forget to leave a comment on R.A. Padmos’s blog to win a copy of Capturing the Moment.

(If you are a book reviewer, contact me and my publisher will send you a free reviewer’s copy of my novella)

Wicked Wednesday: Questions my daughter asks about my writing

This Wicked Wednesday’s theme is questions. It’s actually a timely prompt, because my oldest daughter, Ms. 7, has been asking a lot of questions about my writing.

Ms. 7 knows that I’m an author, and that when I say I’m writing the only reason she or her sister, Ms. 4, should bother me is if someone is bleeding. But now that she can read, my writing isn’t just scribbles on a computer screen. I have to be aware of where she is at all times to ensure that she doesn’t walk up behind me and read inappropriate content over my shoulder (which has happened a few times). She is a curious child who is also a bibliophile, and she has begun asking questions about my stories.

I want to talk about what I write in an age appropriate way, but also in a way that doesn’t imply shame over my stories.

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When I got the email with my cover art for Capturing the Moment, I got really excited and called my husband over to see it. Ms. 7 was around and she came over, too. When she saw the cover, her comment was “Mommy, is that man naked?”

Yes, yes he is. “No, he’s just shirtless,” I responded, steeling myself in case she asked why.

She shrugged and said, “Okay.”

I confess I was relieved.

I was raised in a very sex negative home. As someone who has been a sex educator, and as an erotica author, I believe in having a positive approach to sexuality. That sex between consenting partners is a healthy part of life. That it’s totally normal to have various partners over the years. That sexuality is fluid.

Unfortunately, Singapore is a very conservative and sexist society. I am constantly battling against the heteronormative and traditionally gendered notions she is fed in school. I once said to a therapist that I thought it was irritating that girls have to wear dresses and don’t have the option of wearing shorts. I was told, effectively, that wearing shorts would turn them into lesbians. Friends tell me that girls at their high schools with “too short” hair were considered lesbians and punished accordingly–guilty regardless of identity and regardless of the fact that it’s just wrong. The reductive attitudes toward sexuality and gender roles makes me question my choice to bring up daughters here. (Not that the US is a utopia, but there’s a wider range of “normal” there.)

Ms. 7 and have had a few conversations about sex. She knows the proper names for the male and female body parts, including genitals. She’s learned about the fertilization of an egg, and how it can grow into a fetus (or not–I’ve been open about the fact that I had a miscarriage before my pregnancy with her). Ironically, I think we’ve talked more about abortion than we have sex. But that’s because she’s more interested in the concept of being pregnant or not being pregnant. She isn’t all that interested in what happens before pregnancy (or not getting pregnant).

We’ve talked about masturbation, sort of. That it’s healthy and normal to want to touch yourself, but that your bedroom is the right place to do that, as opposed to the middle of the living room.

lets talk about sex

I know that Ms. 7’s questions will change, and despite my preparation as a sex ed teacher and my desire to create a sex-positive home, I am nervous that I won’t get it right.

I want to teach her that sex is a good healthy thing. I want her to understand consent, and to feel comfortable saying “no!” when she doesn’t want to do something. I want her to know what a healthy relationship looks like. I want her to have access to birth control of all kinds. I’d rather that she have sex in her room in the house at sixteen than going down on her partner in the bathroom of a subshop because they have nowhere else to go. (True story–both I and my boyfriend worked at the sub shop, and the bathroom didn’t have cameras, so we’d fool around in there. That’s where I learned to cover my teeth when giving a blow job because I’d never given one before. And yes, ew.)

I want to help her advocate for a better tomorrow for women and their sexuality.

On the flip side, I need to teach her about rape culture. That she will get catcalled. As a biracial woman, she will need to fend off idiots who ask “what are you?” like she’s an exotic pet. I need to help her navigate the quicksand that is being a woman. That you will get criticized for being “too ambitious.” (Just look at the criticisms of Hillary Clinton’s campaign for a zillion examples of sexism leveled at ambitious women.)

With regards to my writing, I don’t want her to think that I’m ashamed about writing explicit sex. But she also needs to know that there is a boundary as to what I’m going to share, regardless of how old she gets. If she reads any of the anthologies I’m in when she’s older, I honestly don’t want to know. I was 11/12 ish when I started stealing my mom’s books and feeling tingles when I read the sex bits, although that freaks me out as a parent when I think about Ms. 7 and Ms. 4. I think she should read erotica when she’s old enough, but it squicks me out that she might read mine. If she wants to read anything by me, I have mainstream fiction she can read.

For now, my answer is “Mommy writes books that are meant for grown-ups. I’ve written a few stories that you can read when you’re a few years older. (meaning my mainstream fiction)”

I feel lucky that her response is, “Ok. Can you write a book just for me for my birthday, then?”

That sounds like a story I’d be proud to have her read.

wicked wednesday

Social Media and the Writing Community

why I write

When I was a little girl dreaming of being a writer, all I ever pictured was sitting at a computer and seeing my book in a store. I doubt it was ever that straightforward, but the advent of social media has dramatically changed the reader/writer relationship. Personally, I maintain this blog, a Twitter feed (where I talk about my various tv show addictions as well as writing), a goodreads page, and a facebook page to interact with my readers.

Six years ago this week my family moved to Singapore. Living ten thousand miles from my friends and family back in Boston has made me more reliant on social media than I was before the move. It seems totally natural to me to look to Facebook and Twitter to keep up with the lives of my loved ones and to use them to keep in touch. There are a number of people from home whom I’m no longer in close contact with because they don’t use Facebook.

 

friendship

Twitter, Facebook, and blogs are where I’ve found my writing community.

Twitter is where I made friends with Tamsin Flowers and Lynn Townsend, and Malin James among others. Tamsin, Lynn, and Malin are special cases because our friendship has transcended Twitter to personal friendship. I beta for Lynn and Tamsin, and they for me. Tamsin and I have skyped.  When I was so sick last year, Alison Tyler sent me a scarf she’d knitted. Were I near them geographically, I have no doubt that we would hang out.

Without social media, I wouldn’t be friends with Oleander Plume, F dot Leonora, Jade A. Water, and so many other lovely people who make the internet a warmer, friendlier place to be.

So while I often spend time on social media that I could use to write, I don’t have any regret. (Except when I’m doing it purely as a method of procrastination.)

If you are a reader or writer–reach out. We’re here to make those connections. Alisha Rai responded to my email with really helpful advice about book covers. If it weren’t for social media, I wouldn’t have met most of my friends in Singapore. I’m so happy to receive tweets, comments, and emails from readers wanting to connect. So reach out!

Whether you’re a reader or a writer, or just want to argue over nerdy thing with me or ask me questions about Singapore and chewing gum, I’m here.

Recommended Read–Magic’s Pawn by Mercedes Lackey

Magics Pawn

I was born in 1978. In my small town it was considered enlightened to say something like “I have no issue with gay people, but why do they have to rub it in my face by kissing in public.” I was in high school when Friends first came on tv, and it was considered ahead of its time given it’s “positive” portrayal of Ross’s ex-wife (while incredibly problematic through today’s lens). No one was out at my school. Even Ellen DeGeneres wasn’t out yet.

In those pre-internet days, I found book at the library and at the one bookstore near my house–Waldenbooks. (RIP Waldenbooks). I grew up really poor, but my five dollar a week allowance was usually enough to buy a book each week or every other week. I didn’t spend money on clothes, makeup, or VHS cassettes (RIP), and only rarely on cassettes (RIP) or cd’s. From around the age of seven or eight, the staff at Waldenbooks knew me by name and reading preference. YA wasn’t really a genre at that point in time, so by my tween years I bounced between the kid and adult sections.

My mom didn’t censor what I read or bought, so at twelve I was ready Flowers in the Attic and Gone With the Wind along with the occasional BSC book. After I’d read all of Piers Anthony’s Xanth series and Christopher Stasheff’s Wizard in Rhyme series, I approached my favorite salesperson for a recommendation. I knew Brian liked fantasy, like me, so I knew he’d point me in the direction of a new read. His first recommendation was The Black Gryphon by Mercedes Lackey, which I realize now was a way of feeling me out for my comfort level with nontraditional relationships. When I told him I really liked it and asked which Mercedes Lackey book he thought I should read next, he handed me Magic’s Pawn.

In every reader’s life, there are books that upend the way you view the world. Magic’s Pawn was one such book. Vanyel was the first gay person I ever “met.” At least whom was out to me–Brian was gay, but it would be years before I’d know that. Reading his story made me face my own internal prejudices and come face to face with how awful they were. When I was struggling to come to terms with my own bisexuality around five years later, re-reading Vanyel’s books were healing for me. I wasn’t alone in this. On Twitter, whenever Magic’s Pawn comes up in conversation, it becomes obvious what a huge impact the book had on my generation.

mercedes lackeyMercedes Lackey

Magic’s Pawn is an example of Mercedes Lackey at her best. Because of Magic’s Pawn and The Black Gryphon, I read everything Lackey wrote for years. I’d even spend my meager allowance on hardcovers–an insane luxury for a kid like me. I joined her zine, Queen’s Own (RIP zines) and wrote fanfic with my QO penpal. I bought the filk music associated with her Velgarth books. I have reread her books until they were in tatters, and then bought new copies. Which is probably why I’m disproportionately upset that she is still writing books in that universe despite being obviously tired of doing so. She can do so much better than her current Velgarth books would indicate.

However, I will defend her as an author until the day I die because of Magic’s Pawn trilogy, the Arrows of the Queen trilogy, The Vows and Honor books, By the Sword, The Black Gryphon, The Bardic Voices series, the Diana Tregarde series, and The Fire Rose. I like plenty of her other books, but those are the ones that made an indelible mark on my youth.

If you haven’t read Magic’s Pawn, you should. It stands the test of time.

vanyel fanartsource

Vanyel has only one thing he’s ever dreamed of being–a Bard.  Unfortunately he’s also the heir to his father’s estate, so music isn’t a career that’s in the cards for him.  He’s too small and fine boned to sword fight like his larger bulkier brothers and cousins, but his swordsmaster feels that the fast feint and dash method that would match his build is “cheating.”  Jervis promptly breaks his arm in punishment for “cheating.”

Apart from his older sister Lissa-who is sent away within the first chapter to become a guardswoman (there’s one girl in every generation who bucks tradition–and you always know who because they inherited the “Ashekevron nose)-he’s left without close friend or ally.

When he’s sent to Haven-the capital city of Valdemar-he’s told that he can’t even take his horse.  Insult after insult is given–he’s taken to the city between two of his father’s guards like a common criminal.  He’s so hurt that he decides

It was so simple–just don’t give a damn.  Don’t care what they do to you and they do nothing.

But like every emotionally abused child who has ever thought that before or after Vanyel, all it does is serve to isolate him further.

Left in his aunt’s care, he has no clue what to make of his unexpected freedom, his lessons with the bards, or Tylendel (one of his aunt’s students.)  His lessons, though, only serve to crush his one remaining hope–that he would be taken into Bardic Collegium and be made a Bard.  He’s a beautiful musician, but he doesn’t have the bardic gift and he doesn’t compose–and he’d need one of the two for them to remove him from the position of his father’s heir.  Vanyel is left without hope for the future.

Vanyel’s drawn to Tylendel, but has no words to describe what it is he’s feeling or why until a girl at court mocks ‘Lendel’s sexual preferences.  It is a lightning bolt to Vanyel, who hadn’t even realized that such pairings were even possible.  Watching them come together is powerful, as is the scene from the next morning when they sit down with his aunt to talk about what will happen now that he and Tylendel are a couple…

“The first problem and the one that’s going to tie in to all the others, Vanyel, is your father.”  She paused, and Vanyel bit his lip.  “I’m sure your realize that if he finds out about this, he is going to react badly.”

Vanyel coughed, and bowed his head, hiding his face for a moment.  When he looked back up, we was wearing a weary, ironic half-smile; a smile that had as much pain in it as humor.  It was, by far and away, the most open expression Savil had ever seen him wear.

“‘Badly’ is something of an understatement, Aunt,” he replied rubbing his temple with one finger.  “He’ll–gods, I can’t predict what he’ll do, but he’ll be in a rage, that’s for certain.”

“He’ll pull you home, Van.” Tylendel said in a completely flat voice.  “And he can do it; you’re not of age, you aren’t Chosen, and you’re aren’t in Bardic.”

“And I can’t protect you,” Savil sighed, wishing that she could.  “I can stall him off for a while, seeing as he officially turned guardianship of you over to me, but it won’t last more than a couple of months.  Then–well, I’ll give you my educated guess as to what Withen will do.  I think he’ll put you under house arrest long enough for everyone to forget about you, then find himself a compliant priest and ship you off to a temple.  Probably one far away, with very strict rules about outside contact.  There are, I’m sorry to say, several sects who hold that the shay’a’chern are tainted.  They’d be only to happy to ‘purify’ you for Withen and Withen’s gold.  And under the laws of the kingdom, none of us could save you from them.”

Looking back, it’s pretty revolutionary that this scene was written in the late 80’s when homosexuality was a huge cultural taboo and AIDS was a death sentence.  The Reagan administration was delaying research into HIV/AIDS because it was seen as a “gay disease.”  It was written long before conversion therapy was debunked as dangerous and damaging.  Lackey’s sex scenes are all off-page, but she was writing relationships like Tylendel and Vanyel (and even a potential all female triad relationship years earlier) long before we were having cultural discussions about LGBTQA representations in media and critiquing lack of representation.

While the spectre of Vanyel’s father looms over the relationship and has them playing a double game, the real danger to the relationship is from ‘Lendel.  More to the point, Tylendel’s obsession with a family feud his family has going with the Leshara family.  Lendel’s twin brother is the lord of their holding, and Lendel wants to take his side.  Heralds must be neutral, and Lendel is anything but.  When his brother is murdered, Tylendel’s control snaps, and he uses Vanyel to seek revenge.

—and that’s just the first half of the book. (description borrowed from my book blog)

 

 

I’m visiting Jade A Waters today!

14262884017_059d13690d_mStreet Scene in Siem Reap, Cambodia

The lovely Jade A. Waters is hosting me over at her blog today for the second stop on my virtual book tour. If you’ve read a lot of my stories, you’ll notice that my characters are often musicians, or that I use musical metaphors when describing sex. That’s because music is, and always has been a huge part of my life. In my guest post at Jade’s blog, I discuss the song lyric that unlocked Capturing the Moment for me.

Come visit Jade’s blog and enter for an exclusive sneak peek, and a chance to win a free copy of Capturing the Moment!

Intrepid Horizons is now on sale!

Intrepid Horizons

I’m so excited to share that Intrepid Horizons is now on sale for paperback and kindle! I absolutely love Dumped, my story from this anthology. It’s the story of a Unicorn’s Virgin who is dumped for the crime of turning thirty. When she’s left out as food for a dragon, things don’t go as planned.

I’ve shared a sneak peek before. Here’s another…

Gingerly, Neri lifted her pounding head. It was still dark—although whether the same day or another, she had no idea. Bewildered, she looked around. She was alone, in a field. Her travel clothes were gone. She was now wearing a white gown. A metal band was fastened around her ankle.

I’m chained to a stake in a field wearing ceremonial Virgin’s robes.

“Wonderful. I’m going to be Dragon food.”

The post she was chained to was well-rooted in the ground. The chain was sturdy, and the padlock at her ankle secure. Neri spent the better part of an hour searching for a stone to hammer against the lock, but there were none. Whoever had set the proverbial table had taken every precaution to ensure that dinner couldn’t escape.

A rhythmic flapping grew steadily louder, as a shape took form in the sky, spiraling, practically dancing through the clouds. Neri calculated that the Dragon was easily three times Storm’s size. In the moonlight, its scales flashed a soft blue. As it neared, each flap of its enormous wings caused the grass to flatten and the trees in the distance to bend. When it back-winged to land, Neri was knocked to the ground by the wind whipping across the field.

Neri closed her eyes, and hoped it would at least be a quick end. But nothing happened. She opened one eye, then the other.

The Dragon’s face was only a foot away from her own. Its head was cocked to one side.

“Where are my sheep?” it—she—asked Neri.

Guest Post–O Dear…There’s A Woman in My M/M story

I’d like to welcome R.A. Padmos to the blog today. I met R.A. in the Totally Bound author FB group. I’m so intrigued to read The Bookshop and Unspoken. Leave a comment to win a chance to win one of R.A.’s books!

***

Unspoken is the story of a married man who falls in love with another man. It’s not a very usual theme in more recent m/m and gay romance novels, and neither does it seem to be a very popular one. Most readers, at least from what I see and hear, don’t like a woman being part of the one man is hot, two men are hotter picture.

So why did I choose to write exactly such a story? I can perhaps best call it a challenge to myself to write a historical novel with some absolute rules. I wanted to write a story about a Dutch working class man living in times of economic crises followed by five years of German occupation. It had to be an honest story, even if that honesty would cost me a few readers.

I had to face the fact that in those days, a man who could pass as straight, would likely make the choice to get married and start a family. He might not even recognise his own feelings, until lighting hit him and there was no longer a realistic way of denying the truth. But what to do with his wife and their four children? The most popular choice would be to let her die during the delivery of the youngest baby, which would give us a ready-made two-daddy family long before that concept became popular. Or I could write her as an unpleasant character, standing between our heroes and their love. If she would be nasty enough, who would blame a man for leaving his wife for the man who turned out to be the love of his life?

That, however, would be lazy writing. Above all, I hate portraying a female character as a bitch simply because she stands between two men and their true romance. So I ended up with a story of a man who falls deeply in love with another man and expresses his feelings in as many ways as possible. It’s also the story of a man married to a loyal sweetheart of a woman with whom he shares the responsibility getting a family through hard times.

Often enough that’s how things were back then, whether we, modern readers and writers of m/m and gay romance, want it in our stories or not. I know I had to take a deep breath to write Unspoken.

I’m happy I did.

Now it’s up to the readers…

unspoken_800

What’s it about?

When Stefan meets Adri, it is love at first sight. It does, however, take some time before he recognizes his own feelings. He’s a married man—a family man—with a strong sense of responsibility. In Dutch society of 1935, sex between men over the age of twenty-one might be legal, but acceptance is still a long way off.

As a working-class man without a steady job, he doesn’t have the means to ignore society’s rules and create his own little paradise in which both he and his lover can be together, without his family having to suffer poverty and shame. Despite all this, the lovers find a way to carve out moments of intimacy and happiness.

Then the Germans march into Holland and nothing will ever be the same again. The occupation, which will last five long years, offers both danger and chances, but choices have to be made—choices of the head and choices of the heart.

Readers might be interested to know that Stefan, Adri and others also play a role in The Bookshop, the story of bookseller Jakoba.

 

A small taste?

They ended up on the floor together, with Adri full of impatience undressing Stefan, his eyes wide with delight.

“No one ever looked at me this way.” Stefan wasn’t even nearly ready to accept the other man’s gaze in a matter-of-fact manner. “Maybe it’s something women don’t like to do, only men.”

“What kind of way do you mean?” Adri asked with clearly feigned innocence.

“As if you don’t simply accept that I want you, but want me just as much. Marije—I shouldn’t even talk about this—she’s a sweet woman, but she never does or says anything that even hints that she’s really interested in me as a man. Doesn’t she have the same needs?” Stefan wondered aloud, but hidden there was another, unspoken question. Did I marry her for exactly that reason?

 

unspoken_postcard

 

Where can I buy this book?

Pride Publishing

Amazon US

Amazon UK

 

A few words about me?

In no particular order: woman, writer, in a relationship with my wife since 1981 (though we had to wait until 2001 until we could actually get married), mother of two grown sons, owner of cats (I can pretend, can’t I?), reader and a lot more.

I write in different genres under different names. I’m also S.Dora for my M/M erotica and Ella Laurance for my M/F erotica.

 

Where can you find me?

My blog

My Facebook

Twitter

Care for a free book?

Anyone giving a reaction to this post between now and Wednesday has a chance of winning one of my books. Winner’s choice. I do need an e-mail address for obvious reasons.

Wicked Wednesday #200–My Best…

This week’s Wicked Wednesday theme is “The Best”–what is your best post?

The link I submitted to WW was Oh. My. God. (AKA that time Wil Wheaton saw my Wesley Crusher Fanfic)

If you’ve never read it, I’ll share the video below (the link includes a transcript as the video as it can be, at time, NSFW)

wicked wednesday

I’m visiting Lisabet Sarai today

Angkor Wat at Dawn

Many thanks go out to Lisabet Sarai, the first stop on my blog tour for Capturing the Moment. Visit her blog to read about how real life inspired Capturing the Moment, an exclusive sneak peek, and a chance to win a free copy of Capturing the Moment.