Volunteering for Reproductive Freedom

  • First Published-September 16, 2009
  • Edited-December 30, 2010

For about five months in 2009,  I chose to donate my “free” time to a pro-choice organization.  I did this rather than go see a movie, shop, or run errands that would’ve been easier to do without my daughter along…or write, for that matter.


  • Because it needs to be done.
  • Because I can.
  • Because it’s my way of thanking all the women who have come before me to give me reproductive freedom.

Reproductive freedom is at the root of all female freedom.  When a woman can control her fertility she is less likely to end up in poverty.  When a woman controls her fertility she is acknowledged as a full person, capable of making decisions, rather than a passive vessel from which future generations will spring.  She has the freedom to work and to progress in her career, only taking child related breaks on her terms.  Economists unanimously agree that a key step in a country’s progress towards “first world” status is female self-control over one’s fertility.

You may argue that in this day and age, control over fertility means access to the pill and other contraception.  I disagree, saying you need to include access to abortion to have full reproductive freedom.

Abortion isn’t a pleasant procedure to contemplate.

In later stages of pregnancy, the procedure become downright gruesome.

However, a woman should not be held hostage to her body because she was raped, had a contraception failure, made a bad decision, or was coerced into unprotected sex because of cultural/social taboos.

The American right would like us all to give these unwanted children up for adoption, which makes for a pretty fantasy.  Of course, that fantasy only works if you assume that every child, regardless of physical, emotional, or behavioral needs would be adopted.  That every child, regardless of the parent’s ethnic background(s) would be adopted.  The truth is that children with special needs, children of mixed race, and minority children are not as “desirable” to prospective parents, and thus are less attractive to potential adoptive parents.

Putting all that aside for a moment, it assumes something far more insidious…that women need only step back and gestate and all will go well.  Anyone who thinks that has never been pregnant.  Never experienced the literal growing pains of a uterus.  Never become diabetic with pregnancy (and as someone who stuck herself a grand total of 14 times a day-10 for blood sugar checks and 4 to give myself shots of insulin I can attest to what it’s like to feel like a pincushion).  Never puked for all 40 weeks of pregnancy (I know what it’s like to come close to being hospitalized because I was practically dehydrated from all the puking).  Never had the heartburn.  Never had their lungs infringed upon by a 3rd trimester fetus.  Never gone through labor. Never experienced the joys of having their vaginal walls tear as the baby entered the world.

It’s also a pretty fantasy where no woman ever gets pre-eclampsia.  Never gets diagnosed with cancer while pregnant.  Never is faced with a situation where it’s your life and death on the line.  Keep the baby and you both die, or abort the baby and you live…which would you choose?

There’s no discussion of where restrictions on reproductive freedom would end.  These “pro-lifers” are often the same people rallying against “big government,” saying that the government has no right to get involved in personal affairs.  But what is more personal than a pregnancy?  How would they force me to stay pregnant?  Would there be a law that all women of child bearing age take folic acid, just in case?  What if I forget to take my prenatal vitamin?  Chose not to control my pregnancy induced diabetes?  Would I be sent to jail for negligence?

What about miscarriage?  How would they prove the difference between a natural miscarriage and the ingestion of herbs known since time immemorial to cause “accidents” for pregnant women?  Would every D&C (such as I had after my first pregnancy did not pass naturally after her/his heart stopped beating) be cause for a police investigation?

I don’t know how it ends, except that I suspect it would look a lot like “A Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood.

And so I volunteer.

Each time I volunteer I park my car near the clinic.  I scan the perimeter of the clinic for protesters.  The legal line is drawn on the ground in yellow paint, and I often see the protesters put a foot over it, or pace it like an angry lion pacing his too-small cage at the zoo.  A frequent protester is an elderly woman, who often gets away with more small transgressions because it would be bad press to have her arrested for every small infraction.

I enter the double doors and pass through a metal detector.  I hand my purse to a security guard for inspection.  I sign in using my first name and last initial only…for my protection.  I exchange my id for a badge that will open the elevator or give me a code to use on the numerical pad that changes the order of it’s numbers regularly.  I know where the panic buttons are in case of emergency.  I know when to call 911.

My path does not lead me through the waiting room, but I’ve been there as a patient.  There is an air of sadness, and quiet resignation.  No one is happy to go to the abortion clinic.  Relieved, yes…but never celebratory.

I work in an area far removed from the medical procedures.  It could be any office.  There’s a water cooler, a copier that breaks frequently, staplers that jam, files that need alphabetizing, and envelopes that need stuffing.  Like any non-profit, there’s money to be raised and lobbying to be done on our behalf.

But there are also industrial shredders, and no piece of paper is thrown away without first being shredded.  Those who dislike what happens behind our doors could harass a doctor, a patient, an employee, or a volunteer like me.

When my time is done, I use my badge to descend to the main floor, and exchange a few words with the guard as I pass back my badge and sign out, receiving my ID once more.  I push the heavy doors to the street open, and again glance around to look for protesters before making my way back to the car.

I drive back to my sitter’s home to pick up the little girl I love more than any other child in this world.  Because a morning away from her to help fight to secure her reproductive freedom is a far better use of my time than getting a manicure.

2 Responses

  1. I’m not sure if this will get posted or not but here goes… I read the points you made about being pro-choice..some I must admit are valid points about where do we stop the government from stepping on our rights, but some points I have to question. If we’re going to continue to let women abort children due to “bad choices”, where does that end? When a woman has 12 abortions as though they’re birth control and waits well into her 2nd trimester, as I’m sure you know there’s a heart beat and can sometimes be seen sucking their thumb, (i personally know a woman who did just this), then where does that end? Do we just continue to allow her to do this? Then there’s always the old argument that why do we charge someone with double homicide for killing a pregnant woman if she’s allowed to abort it? Why does she have a right to decide if it’s worth adoring? Just because it’s inside her? I was raped and became pregnant with my 3rd child. He was at risk for health problems..but I found a family willing to adopt him without question. There are families waiting in line to adopt that have been waiting for years; the family I picked had been waiting 9 years. There are way more families trying to adopt than mothers placing children for adoption. There are families galore wiling and can’t wait..to adopt children and/or babies, with health/mental problems, of all different ethnic backgrounds etc. Please don’t advise women that they may not be able to place a child for adoption because that’s just NOT TRUE! Thanks.

    • Michelle

      You did not swear or do anything that would cause me not to publish your comment, other than disagree with me.

      I do, however, think you are working from a place of misinformation and misconception.

      Misconception #1–That many women have abortions in the 2nd trimester
      —88% of all abortions happen in the first trimester of pregnancy
      —Only 1.5% of all abortions happen after the 20th week

      Misconceptions #2–heartbeat/thumbsucking/pain argument…
      –The fetal heartbeat starts at about 5 weeks into the pregnancy, or right around when most women get a positive test result (5th week of the pregnancy=3 weeks post the sex, and 1 week past when your period was due, using the awful 28 day cycle method)–at this point the fetus looks like a comma and is smaller than your pinky nail. If you use the heartbeat as a milestone, you are invalidaging most women’s choice period. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/prenatal-care/PR00112
      —Thumbsucking? Saw it at my first child’s 12 week ultrasound. It didn’t mean that she was a fully developed baby with thoughts and emotions or could survive outside my uterus. It meant that a reflex moved her arm to her mouth
      —Science shows that a fetus doesn’t likely feel pain before 24+ weeks because, simply stated, the neural network isn’t developed enough according to recent studies done in the UK http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/blogs/the-human-condition/2010/06/25/does-the-fetus-feel-pain-uk-report-says-no.html

      Misconception #3–Rape victims should just go for adoption
      –Even at the cost of her mental health?
      Congratulations and kudos to you for being able to bear a pregnancy borne from rape. That is not the case for many.

      Misconception #4–Adoption is awesome and every baby is wanted
      I’m guessing you are white? Then you likely had NO trouble placing your child for adoption.

      The stats are clear that children of color, and special needs children disproportionately make up the foster system population. It is absolutely true that there is no guarantee that a child placed for adoption WILL be adopted–if that were true, the foster system would hold only children who were removed from parental custody, and it’s just not the case.

      At heart, what you are really talking about, although you’re trying to use other arguments, is that you don’t want women having abortions for reasons you don’t like. You are placing a moral judgment upon another’s actions, which is an issue.

      No, I am not comfortable with every woman’s motivations to have every abortion performed worldwide. However, it is not my business, nor should it be.

      If I have to place a value on the life of a fetus or a woman, the value (by an order of magnitude) goes to the woman. She is the fully developed human being whom the state is reducing to rightless incubator. If women lose rights and lose protections when they become pregnant, we become less than human.

      I find it interesting that you would write this comment when women’s reproductive health and freedom is under more attack than ever before. Where does the line in the sand exist?

      Should a woman who is 22 weeks along die because her doctor can not perform the abortion that would save her life? The life saving abortion that saved Cecily Kellog’s life would be illegal today, which would mean that not only would the world have lost her twins Zachary and Nicholas (who were very wanted) but Cecily and her now almost 5 year old daughter, Tori. http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2009/06/12/how-a-lateterm-abortion-saved-my-life

      Should a woman have to carry a dead baby because cows do? Georgia thinks so http://haleybehre.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/georgia-women-must-carry-stillborn-babies-to-term-just-like-cows-and-pigs-do/

      How can you tell the difference between an abortion and miscarriage? The only thing that would have made the day I had my D&C (one of the worst days of my life, perhaps the worst until my elder daughter almost died of sepsis at 7 days old) worse would have been a police investigation to figure out if I’d “caused” the miscarriage.

      A woman’s body is hers to do whatever she wants with it, whether you like it or not. I’m not going to protect a potential life until it can exist outside the mother’s body…24 or more weeks of gestation, and even then I would want a doctor to have the right to perform an abortion if it meant the life of the mother.

      An argument that is often made is that the first amendment doesn’t protect speech you agree with–it protects speech you hate. Pro-choice legislation isn’t there to protect women whose choices you approve of, it’s there to protect the rights of women even when you don’t agree with their choices.

      And it does come down to choice. I think you must be an incredibly strong woman to bear a child after rape, and to explain to two other children why that pregnancy did not result in a brother or sister they would grow up with. I applaud that you made a choice. What I don’t applaud is that you think you should be able to dictate the choices of others.

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