Music to write by…

My writing time is cobbled together from stolen moments.  While Ms 1 is napping and Ms 4 is in school in a coffee shop.  I type by the light of my screen as Ms 1 snores in her crib within arms reach of me after bedtime.  Alone in my bedroom during those blissful hours when the girls are someone else’s responsibility (my husband or my sitter).

Neither the hiss of the cappuccino maker nor the delighted giggles of my children make for an environment conducive to writing smut.  So I slip in my ear buds and use music to help create the right mood to write by.  Half the time I’m not even really paying attention to the music-it’s about giving my subconscious a clue as to where I want to go.

My music isn’t always the same.  I have a story set in New Orleans, and when working on that piece, I put on my New Orleans playlist-heavy on Preservation Hall Jazz, the sexy growl of Tab Benoit, the soft sweet voice of Theresa Andersson, and other assorted local artists.  While writing a Lancelot/Guinevere piece, I put “The Trial of Lancelot” and “Avalon” by Heather Dale on repeat.

But I do have an erotica playlist.  If I don’t have a specific agenda (such as above) this is what I’ve got playing on shuffle in the background.  Songs are listed by artist…

  • Rag Doll by Aerosmith
  • Naughty Girl by Beyonce
  • Cradle of Love by Billy Idol
  • Gimme More by Britney Spears
  • But I am a Good Girl by Christina Aguilera
  • Express by Christina Aguilera
  • Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera
  • Your Body by Christina Aguilera
  • Infatuation by Christina Aguilera
  • Don’t Let Go (Love) by En Vogue
  • Whatta Man by En Vogue and Salt N Pepa
  • Persephone by Escape Key
  • Lollipop by Framing Hanley
  • Damsel in Distress by Idina Menzel
  • I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry
  • ET by Katy Perry
  • Addicted by Kelly Clarkson
  • Chocolate by Kylie Minogue
  • You and I by Lady Gaga
  • Alejandro by Lady Gaga
  • Teeth by Lady Gaga
  • Strangers on a Train by Lovage
  • One More Night by Maroon 5
  • What Would Happen by Meredith Brooks
  • Gett Off by Prince
  • Cream by Prince
  • Buttons by Pussycat Dolls
  • The Kiss (from Last of the Mohicans Soundtrack)
  • Fiery Nights (from Lord of the Dance Soundtrack)
  • Stay by Shakespear’s Sister
  • Touch Me by Smash Cast
  • Kiss Kiss by Stella Soleil
  • Sexy Naughty Bitchy by Tata Young
  • I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford

If my appalling taste in music hasn’t sent you packing, what do you write by?

Blogging/Writing Resolutions for 2013

2012 was a really big year for me in terms of writing.

I had my first publication with the inclusion of Renewal in Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel.  I was even lucky enough to have some kind comments sent my way in the Amazon reviews of Irresistible.

This was the year I first started calling myself a professional writer, which was a really big shift for me.  I’ve always been a writer–going through papers I found a “story” I wrote when I was seven or eight, along with some highly embarrassing fanfic from highschool and a bad Christopher Pike rip-off story from the same time period.  I’ve been doing erotica for just over 10 years, but never took myself seriously.  Changing that has been exciting and a little bit scary.

I submitted five pieces.  Four were rejected, and one was accepted (for the 50 shades of glitter anthology I mentioned in this post).  I’ll pass along when you can buy and support 50 Shades of Glitter once I know more.

I worked on a novel for NaNoWriMo.  Between kids and travel I only hit 17K words, instead of the 25 or 50K I’d hoped for.

I wrote 24 blog posts here, which was far short of what I’d hoped for.  To be fair I also wrote 182 posts at my personal blog and about 40 as part of a pro-blogging job.

So what do I hope for in 2013?

1. Submit 6 or more short stories for anthologies

2. Have a full first draft of the ghost story

3. Blog here on a regular schedule.  Maybe every weekend?  One x per week.

I hope you’ll be with me on the journey.

2012 in review

Below are my blog stats for 2012.  What I learned from these stats are that I suck at blogging here and that people want a lot of information about BDSM during pregancy (as did I, which I why I wrote that post in the first place–there’s a dearth of info about it).

 

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,300 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

My kids ruined my plans for tonight

Today started off so promising.  I was feeling a bit boring and stuck in my clothing rut of shorts and a tank top (not the sexy ones you’re thinking of, sadly)–so I decided to wear a thong.  Then I put on my bracelet which carries the subtle engraving of the word “slut.”  That lifted my spirits, and inspired some sexting between myself and the husband.

Then…within the space of 60-90 minutes…

The not quite 4 year old threw  huge tantrum over dinner.  I had the nerve to serve chicken and rice–clearly I should be arrested for torture.

The not quite 4 year old pounded on the door while I way trying to pee.  No, no going to the toilet alone for you, Mommy.

The 1 year old tried to chew on a shampoo bottle while I had them both in the tub.  I sprayed myself with the detachable showerhead as I lunged for the bottle.  Again, not in the sexy wet-t-shirt way.  In the half drowned rat way.  Also sprayed-a big chunk of my bathroom.  FUN!

The 1 year old screamed bloody murder when I dared to remove her from the bath and put clothes on her.

The 1 year old protested at the top of her lungs when I had the temerity to put her in the crib so I could finish bathing her sister.

I took the 4 year old into her room and discovered she had colored all over her mirror.

Also–my 4 year old has decided that rather than call me Mommy, she prefers “Mother.”  Sigh.

By the time my partner came home, all I wanted to do was come into my bedroom, turn off the lights….and listen to loud rock music or watch West Wing.  Not so much with the interactions or the touching or the anything.

Maybe with an hour or two of alone time and loud music I’ll be ready to go find my bracelet again.  Or go to sleep.  Either seems likes a reasonable conclusion to my day.

50 Shades of Glitter Kickstarter

Hey all
My twitter pal Dead Cow Girl has a kickstarter project that needs some love.

Women have always been stuck in the middle of a battle that’s not entirely our own. If we are openly sex positive, we are slutty and broken. If we are sexually reserved, we are frigid and uptight. Now with Fifty Shades of Grey on every best seller and must read list, talking about sex is all the rage. But, is the sex we are talking about our sex? Or is the sex we are talking about the sex we are expected to talk about.

While I dislike the book, I do love the fact that it has so many women talking about sex. Let keep that trend going!

I want to publish an Anthology of real women’ sexual histories and defining moments.

I have worked as a Dominatrix for the last twenty years, and once I had my son and started blogging as The Dominatrix Mommy blogger, I starter to hear from women who wanted to talk about their fetishes and fantasies. Their stories were fascinating and diverse, from fairly simple, to wildly adventurous, but a vast majority had one thing in common; nearly all of those women thought they were the only one. They felt ashamed and weird, and many had never shared their story with anyone.

I want to collect and share these stories so that women can read them and understand that they aren’t alone. That they aren’t “different” or “damaged.” They are just…. normal, healthy, curious, amazing women.

 

How can you not want to be part of that?  (Yes, I’ve submitted a piece, and have backed the project personally).  Go here to donate.

Rejection

I got a form rejection letter today.  A rejection doesn’t mean “you suck and should never write again.”  Most frequently it means “your story didn’t fit our anthology”–maybe they have too many teacher/student stories already, or have their spanking story, or whatever.  In this case, the form letter specifically states that there were over 300 submissions for 30 slots…that means 90% of us received a rejection.

It still sucks.

However, you can’t let a rejection letter shut you down.  In my case, I move the story out of my “submitted folder” into a “possible submissions” folder.  I may also have indulged in some “I got rejected” chocolate.

I also have perspective if I’m being honest with myself.  This was my first m/m story, it was written a bit hastily, and while it’s a good story, it’s a bit niche (it’s a christmas story with nerdy characters–very niche, possibly).  The acceptance odds were not super high to begin with.  But it was fun to write, and I love the characters.  It was also useful to have written a m/m story and to have gained the experience.  Hopefully when I edit it for another submission attempt or write my next m/m story, I’ll have a stronger piece thanks to this experience.

Still sucks.

But I have Nano character sketches to write, a non-fic piece to finish, and a trip to MONOLITIHICTHEMEPARK to plan.  Plus the newly minted 1 year old is getting more and more interested in walking.  So I can’t dwell–I move on.

 

 

Outlining

I’ve always been a bit on the fence about outlining–I wasn’t great at doing it for research papers in college and I’ve never been terribly good at doing it for my stories, either.

However, given that I am trying for something on the longer side, I don’t necessarily want my characters to hijack me off onto some side journey I wasn’t planning on.  The year I successfully completed NaNoWriMo, my secondary characters totally hijacked my story and I ended up caring more about them than my primary characters.  This is deeply deeply ironic given that it was a romance semi-sort-of based on my partner and I and a “what if” scenario.

Of course the flip side is that doing an outline (even if it’s just a few sentences for each planned chapter) does give some structure and tells me what I need to know before I get started on Nov 1–for example, I know very little about video games and how they are made, so I need to learn that or change something about my planned story.

Doing/thinking about my story outline is also helping me feel like I’m writing when what I’m actually doing is a major housecleaning project and baking for a birthday party this week.

Wordless Wednesday-seen in my neck of the woods…

Only 29 days until NaNoWriMo

On November first, a horde of writers will dive into the frenzy that is NaNoWriMo–National Novel Writing Month.

While I’ve always been a writer, I am also somewhat lazy and highly distractab—SQUIRREL! (That was a reference to “Up” for those who missed it.)

So for me, the idea of a community built around the idea that in the course of a month you start writing and you don’t stop–you don’t sit down and revise or stop to rename your characters six times.  You just write and get it out on paper.

I first heard of NaNo (as it’s fondly known) in 2006.  I’d been writing erotica for 4 years, but hadn’t done much in over a year at that point–I’d met my partner, gotten married, worked full time, blah blah blah excuse excuse excuse.  Ironically, I ended up needed to have back surgery that would involve a 6-8 week leave of absence afterward in Mid-October.  By November first I was past the initial onslaught of pain meds, and bored.  I’d never tried to write anything terribly long before, so 50k seemed like an insurmountable length–but it wasn’t like I had anything else/ better to do once I’d done my physical therapy for the day.  So I wrote.
In 2006 I wrote a terrible little novella that I hope will NEVER see the light of day.  But I did it.  I wrote something with a narrative that lasted for more than 50K words.  In having done it, I realized I could do it again.

I’ve tried a few times since, but have not hit 50K in one work during NaNo.

The key difference between 06 and other years is that I did not seek out community.  In 2006 I went to write ins (where we camped out at a library and wrote for an afternoon), socials, and participated in the online community.  I kept uploading my book in progress to keep my word count active.

In 07 and beyond…I meant to register.  I sort of checked up one or twice.  I didn’t do the whole write in thing.  I was participating only tangentially.

This year, I’ve been inspired to become as involved as practical again.  I’ve met one of the two local Nano organizers, and have followed the twitter handle for the local Nano events.  I have signed up at the website (add me as a buddy if you’re over 18– Delilah_Night), and I’m going to stay accountable to you guys.

So while I have 29 days more to think and to plot, which erotic novel would YOU want to read (without giving too much away)…

–Erotic mythology–Lancelot and Guinevere?

–Erotic Contemporary–Gamer CEO in lust with one of her (gorgeous, British-Indian) programmers?

–Erotic Paranormal–A curse set in motion in 1840’s New Orleans changes the life of a history professor in 2012?

Thoughts?

Lingerie from a wedding dress exhibit in Southeast Asia

early 1900’s

Lingerie from the 1920/30’s

Dita Von Teese’s Wedding Corset, 2005

I would’ve loved to see more examples of lingerie through history, but these were what were on display.