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Rereading your own work

I first started writing for Literotica in 2001/2002. I got lots of good reviews, feedback, and all the affirmations a new writer could ever hope for.

I’ve worked at the university stacks for 5 years now…and can I tell you, nothing beats sex among the stacks. I’ve had horny professors, pervy grad students, and uptight law students fuck me up against the books more times that I can count. Who knew bookworms were such sex addicts?

None of what I wrote was….good. Or even okay. I can actually reread that story, even if I roll my eyes multiple times each paragraph. It’s so bad that I wouldn’t even bother using the idea as an inspiration without ripping out the guts of the story and starting over from scratch with a title and a setting. The rest of it? Right in the trash. Why do I still have it? I have no idea–I have a subfolder in my cloud called “Literotica” and all of my terrible, wretched writing is there. I guess it occasionally gives me bare bones inspiration?

Then came my “first novel” if we’re going to call it that. I call it the NaNo novel that must never see the light of day. I started with a decent premise–what if my husband’s family rejected me? But if I hadn’t been in NaNo, which favors word count over quality or process, I would’ve realized that the main character’s sister’s lesbian romance was the far more interesting direction and chucked it to start over. But in NaNo, there is no starting over. There is no going backwards, only forwards. So forged on and I hit 50k words in November 2006.

That book is so unreadable I can’t force myself to read past the first page, if that. I don’t even think about it when I talk about first novels–for me Plunder is my first full length novel. But the truth is that I wrote it, and it taught me important lessons like “write a good book, not a bad book in an arbitrary amount of time.”

My first professional sale was “Renewal.” It was…okay. I rewrote parts of it to resubmit it to If Mom’s Happy, which makes it unique.

But I don’t frequently re-read my own work, mostly because I want to rewrite it. Which I think is common–we are constantly evolving as authors and part of evolution is that things you’ve written in the past feel “bad” even if they represented the best you could do at that time.

That desire to rewrite old work is why time is a gift an author can sometimes give themselves. Sometimes you’re up against a deadline. Other times you just want to get something done with. But if you can, try and create wiggle room in your work schedule. Because sometimes the best thing you can do is let a story sit in a drawer for a while. The irony was that while I didn’t work on Plunder for a little over a year, it was probably a good thing because then I hit it with fresh eyes. While I don’t recommend taking year long hiatuses from your work if it’s avoidable, it can be good to put something in a drawer for two weeks. A friend caught typo errors/missing words in a story I was rushing to finish and was just blind to, even when I read it out loud to myself.

Now this isn’t a universal rule. I recently re-read Capturing the Moment to get a quote for an interview, and I was surprised how much I still like three years after I wrote it, but I may feel differently in another three years, or in thirty years.

What about you? Do you reread your old work? What do you think of it?

 

ARC review–If I Loved You Less by Tamsen Parker

4/5* for fans of Emma by Jane Austen

3/5* for those who are not familiar with Emma

If I Loved You Less is a modern retelling of Emma, by Jane Austen. I have never read the Austen novel, but of course I’m familiar with the most famous modern take on it–Clueless. This review contains SPOILERS because I couldn’t figure how to *not* make it contain spoilers. I won’t reveal anything that the flap copy doesn’t. Plus the original Austen has been around for more than a hundred years, and Clueless has been out for more than twenty.

I looked Emma up on Wikipedia to see how the plots compare. Parker has written a faithful adaptation set in a small town in Hawaii.

Theodosia, Theo to everyone, believes she deserves credit for the wedding between her former nanny, Charlotte, and her new husband at the start of the book. She decides this makes her a successful matchmaker. So when newcomer Laurel moves to Hanalei, Theo decides that she’s just the right person to connect Laurel to her inevitable Mr. Right. Laurel’s choice is a cashier at the local bakery, and Theo thinks she should set her expectations higher, which of course is an unmitigated disaster. Theo is charming, but human to the point of making you actively dislike her a few times.

I like that the setting has been changed to Hawaii and that Theo is a surf instructor. I like that with only a few exceptions, it is a majority minority cast of characters. Touches of authentic Hawaii are found throughout the book from food (and wow does most of what Kini cooks sounds delicious) to the culture. I also like that Theo identifies as queer–she’s never been with or wanted to be with a man, but she’s not a fan of closing doors.

However, the biggest weakness is Kini, Theo’s eventual love interest. Kini is 39 to Theo’s 25, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that Kini was Theo’s more or less maternal figure. Or at least like a beloved aunt. So when Theo realizes she’s in love with Kini, it’s rushed and I didn’t buy it. Moreover I didn’t buy that Kini would be attracted in return. Not because I think a May/December romance is unrealistic–I’ve written several. Rather, my problem is that Parker develops the maternal/aunt vibe to the point where them falling in love actually squicked me a bit. However, it’s true to Emma, sort of, except in Emma it’s her sister’s brother in law, which implies an age gap but not that deep familiarity. (Fan of Emma, set me straight on this.) I do think that anyone not familiar with Emma’s story may also stumble over this.

Perhaps if we’d also seen inside of Kini’s head, the story would work more? I’m not sure. But I didn’t feel like there was a romantic build…just boom out of nowhere.

Personally, I’d give it the 3/5 stars from me, but when I post reviews, I’ll go with the 4/5 stars because I think that fans of Emma will genuinely like this.

Currently If I Loved You Less is scheduled for release on September 20th, but there are currently no pre-order links.

 

Sex Toy Review–The Womanizer

Buy the Womanizer here

I received a Womanizer in exchange for an honest review

The Womanizer is the best sex toy I’ve ever used. I don’t say that lightly—I bought my first vibrator twenty years ago and I’ve gone through plenty of styles, materials, shapes, and permutations. I kept going back to a specific toy, over and over—my silver bullet vibe. So it’s a big deal when I say I haven’t touched my silver bullet in almost six months.

For me, the reason the Womanizer is the best vibrator is the way it sucks your clit. Like most women, I climax primarily from clitoral stimulation. The womanizer’s mouth, so to speak, fits over your clit (learning to position it can take a few tries, though) and it both sucks and vibrates. On a low setting it can make you move your body and tantalize you. On a high setting, especially if you skip the lower setting and go straight to high, you can have some of the best orgasms of your life.

If I want to climax fast and hard, I’ll go to a high setting. I can easily have a multiple orgasm in under five minutes. If I want to draw it out, I recommend mixing the speeds…going fast and then slow and then fast again and so on until I can’t take any more.

The price tag is quite high at $219.00, but I would gladly pay it. You don’t pay money for batteries (and silver bullets can burn through a battery really fast) as it charges from a USB port. One charge can last for a month, even with heavy usage! It comes with a carry case, so it can hide in plain sight in your bureau or nightstand drawer. The quality is also extremely high—it won’t break after just a few uses. The longer handle makes it easier to use if you’re plus sized/have a larger stomach. Oh, and it’s waterproof if you want to get up to some dirty fun in your shower or bathtub.

Buy it. You deserve it.

Seven Books I Love–Honorable Mentions

When I did my Seven Books I Love series, I talked about how hard it was to pick favorite books/series. So here are seven contenders that could have made the list depending on the day I made a decision. These are seven fast plugs

The Tortall books by Tamora Pierce were my entry point to fantasy with strong female protagonists. My fourth grade teacher had read The Hobbit to us, and I’d liked it, but had definitely noticed the lack of women. I might have moved onto The Lord of the Rings like some classmates who liked fantasy, but instead either I stumbled across The Lioness Quartet or, more likely, a teacher/librarian/bookstore employee introduced me to it. While these are YA books, I strongly encourage anyone who likes strong female representation in fantasy to read the series. Start with Alanna: The First Adventure, in which Alanna and her brother Thom switch places–he goes to the convent where as a boy he’ll learn magic and she pretends to be “Alan” and goes to court to learn to be a knight. There are roughly 15 books in the series, with more coming. As a side note, I read this with Athena (9) and she was able to get her copy signed when Tamora Pierce made an appearance at Borderlands Books (a great indie SF/F/Horror bookstore in San Francisco–they ship nationwide if you want to support them).

The Newsflesh series is set in the not too distant future of the US, where a cure for the common cold interacted with the cure for cancer, and while the upside is that no one gets colds or cancer anymore, the downside is that now we have zombies. Georgia (George) and her brother Shawn run a website of “Newsies” (those who report the news), “Irwins” (those who go out and get action videos of themselves fighting or taunting zombies), and “Fictionals” (people who write fiction, like epic love stories). At the start of Feed, the first book in the series, George and Shawn get the news that their website has been selected to cover the Republican nominee for President. Then, as the campaign progresses, it becomes clear that there are powerful people pulling the strings, and George is determined to get to the bottom of it. This is the first book in the original trilogy, which has spawned tons of novellas (The Day the Dead Came to Show and Tell makes me full on sob), and a novel written from the pov of the team covering the Democrat in the race. Feed can also be ordered from Borderlands Books. Mira Grant is the YA pen name for Seanan McGuire, whose October Daye books made the Seven Books meme, and it was a toss up between Newsflesh and Toby, tbh.

The Hate U Give has been on the top of the Children’s/YA Bestseller’s list for a year and a half, and if you read it (and you should) you’ll understand why. Starr grapples with being torn between the world she lives in–a majority black urban neighborhood–and the world she goes to school in–a private, majority white school. When her childhood friend is shot by a police officer in front of her, she has to decide if she wants to be the anonymous witness, or to find her voice and tell the truth. The story is timely, grappling with systemic white privilege, and the strained/toxic relationship between the police and communities of color that spawned Black Lives Matter. I’m going to start reading it with Athena in anticipation of the movie this fall (see the excellent trailer here.) If you want to support an indie bookstore, I suggest Bookasaurus.

I’ve mentioned in the past how much I love Alisha Rai. Glutton for Pleasure is my favorite book by Alisha. Chef Devi Malik and not one, but two sexy twins in the hottest menage love story I’ve ever read. I’m shocked my kindle didn’t melt when I reached the sex scenes. The sex scenes are worth revisiting over and over. It’s not just sex, though–can Devi find more than just kinky sex with Jace and Marcus? (And what will her family think?) Even without the hot, kinky sex, the story has emotional pull, and kept my interest. You can buy it from The Ripped Bodice, the only all-romance bookstore.

The series that really turned me into a reader was The Baby-Sitter’s Club by Ann M. Martin. I even went by Kristy (a reasonable nickname to my IRL name) for a good eight years in school. These books sucked me into their world and I loved them. I snark them on my book review blog, Be Quiet Mommy’s Reading, along with other 80’s books I read in my series called Snarking Nostalgic. Yes, they are flawed, but they are awesome. There is an attempt to bring them back in graphic novel form, which Athena reads and I think suck. The original series is out of print for the most part, but you can find them at used bookstores and indies like Powell’s Books.

This was so close to making my list. I am a hardcore Phantom of the Opera fan. I used to work for a Broadway ticket concierge service and every time they did a $25 matinee, I’d go see it. I’ve seen it easily twenty times, and that’s before we get into things like the 25th anniversary live concert shot at the Royal Albert Hall. Yes, I will even defend Love Never Dies. But the perfect accompaniment to the musical is Phantom by Susan Kay. It tells the story of Erik (the canonical name for the Phantom) from birth to death from various points of view. It shows how he learned all those skills he employs in the show, and his love for Christine. I used to use part of this book as my audition piece when I did theater. If you like Phantom the musical you will love Phantom, the book. If you want to support an indie, why not Powell’s?

I’ve blogged before about how Forbidden was the first book I ever read by Beverly Jenkins. Romance Twitter kept talking about a drop everything and read Beverly Jenkins day, so I had to go see what they were talking about. Rhine is a black man passing as white in the post-Civil War west, and Eddy is the black woman he falls for. He has to decide if he’d risk losing everything he’d gained for the woman he falls for. It’s such a good book–I was actively upset that I had to stop reading to go get my children at school, for one. I ran out to read everything else of hers that I could get my hands on–and I’m still working my way through her backlist book by book. If you want to shop indie, order it from The Ripped Bodice.

ARC Review–Night and Silence by Seanan McGuire

***I am choosing to bring my old book review blog, Be Quiet, Mommy’s Reading, back to life. This is a cross post, one week after it was originally posted there. If you want more book reviews, come follow me over there as well. My kids will book vlog, and I’ll cover more genres than romance***

I received this arc (advance reader’s copy) from Seanan at Worldcon.

Warning–this is the 12th book in the October Daye series. There are spoilers for the previous 11 books/the world after the image of the cover. My recommendation to read the series is in my seven favorite books posts here.

Click here to buy Night and Silence

 

After the events of book 11, The Brightest Fell, things aren’t going great. Tybalt and Jazz have PTSD–Tybalt isn’t even coming to see Toby. Are they even together anymore? No one is coping well. Then Gillian’s father shows up at Toby’s house and tells her Gilly has been kidnapped–again–nearly accusing her of it. She has to go and find her daughter, and it’s clear that someone/s Fae were involved.

When I first read the flap copy for Night and Silence, I was concerned. We’d already done a Gillian was kidnapped plotline in One Salt Sea (book 5). However, Seanan McGuire is brilliant and manages to turn what could so easily have been a recycled plot point into an exciting new story that draws us further into Faerie–not just today but the history and mythology of the world. I would never spoil a plot point, but I will say there are a number of twists and turns, one actually eliciting an audible gasp.

In terms of character development, the way Tybalt’s PTSD plays out is respectful to those who suffer from it. He doesn’t just “get over it.” He is struggling to be who he was, and failing miserably. We don’t see Jazz in this book–she’s referenced but is physically absent–but we know she can’t sleep. Both of them are haunted by Amandine’s actions. Toby isn’t doing so well either–she’s plagued by doubt and recrimination and Gilly’s abduction hits her like a ton of bricks, and she has to pull her shit together, at least on the surface, until she can get Gilly back.

The pacing is tight, and as always McGuire’s characters all have distinct voices and personalities. The tenor is slightly different from the books because Toby is so stretched so thin, emotionally, at this point in time. The way McGuire shifts Toby’s voice leaves it authentic–achingly so because you get drawn into the mire of her grief, terror and fragility. This is not to say there is no humor or that it’s a depressing book–it’s neither of those–merely that the stakes are raised on any number of fronts. There’s still the characteristic McGuire touch of snarky humor–too many character’s voices would be inauthentic if that were missing.

I highly recommend this book. 4.5/5 stars from me.

In the print copy (I’m not sure about digital, sorry) there is also a novella told from Gillian’s point of view that you won’t want to miss. If it’s not in the e-book, you’re going to want to go and buy the physical book so you can read it.

ARC review Wild Flower by Gemma Snow

Wild Flowers by Gemma Snow

Pub 9/4/18

4/5 stars

 

While this is book two in the Triple Diamond, I read it as a standalone title and never felt lost. That said, I saw just enough hints at the contents of the first book that I am putting it on my want to read list on Goodreads, and that I understood how Maddy (and hence Lily) got to this point in their lives.

Lily Hollis’s lover died five years ago, and she has been trapped by grief and sorrow. But on the fifth anniversary of Daniel’s death, she makes the decision to return to her master’s program and finish her research. Her sister Maddy has a ranch in Montana, and it’s the perfect location to do research on how different conditions affect tansy to make it either helpful or toxic.

Dec and Micah are best friends and a search and rescue team. They share a cabin on the border of the Triple Diamond land where they train search and rescue dogs and train more people to have those S&R skills. There’s also a ton of tansy growing all over their property. So they invite Lily to come stay with them, to be closer to her research.

There is instant chemistry between Lily and Dec and Lily and Micah. But can she choose? Does she want to?

When Lily confesses that she’s attracted to both of them, they decide to try her dating both of them.

Snow does a good job of setting up the story–why would Lily ever even consider dating two guys, what about her draws both men, and why is she there. The reader also understands the limitations and stakes–with Lily’s two week research window, why make her decide?

Lily is a well-developed, three dimensional character. It’s disappointing that the men aren’t as well fleshed out–there are tantalizing hints at their pasts, but while I have some idea of how Dec came to be who he is, I know almost nothing about Micah. However, all three character’s voices are distinct, so I never lost track of whose point of view we were in. The dialog is well-done. I’ve never been to Montana, but Snow paints a picture that makes me wish I had been.

The climax of the story (pun intented) is satisfying, and believable within the constraints of the world that Snow has created.

If you like m/m/f stories, this is a satisfying one. As a heads up, though, it’s not a triad where the men interact and there’s a bit of mild homophobia from the men when setting up the ground rules.

Meeting authors

In the past four months I have met three of my favorite authors in person. Without fail all of them have been kind and gracious. Obviously it’s not in the author’s best interest to be a jerk, but not every author chit chats with you for a minute to make you feel valued as one of their readers.

Some people are intimidated by athletes. I wouldn’t know or really care that someone was a professional football player, for example. Others are intimidated by tv/movie stars/musicians and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’d be intimidated as hell to meet Beyoncé or Tom Ellis (Lucifer). But the real people who I idolize and who intimidate me are authors I read. Some actor from Days of Our Lives isn’t going to intimidate me half as much as Mercedes Lackey.

Or Spider Robinson.

If you’ve never read any of Spider Robinson’s work, and you like puns, boy do I have the series to recommend to you. The Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon series (start here) is fun and full of terrible puns. If you liked Piers Anthony’s Xanth as a kid/teen but it got to a point where the series petered out for you (for me it was a few books after Man from Mundania), then you will probably like Callahan’s. I think that Xanth would be classed as more YA than anything at this point, except for the age of some of the series protagonists, and the fact that the series has been in the adult section for twenty-odd years. Callahan’s is strictly adult, and not just because the owner of Callahan’s wife owns a bordello (and has two books of her own).

I haven’t really read Spider’s other series or his essays, but my partner is a huge fan. More of a Robinson fan than I am, in general, and had he been able to go to Worldcon he would’ve been even more in awe than I was.

When Spider was signing my husband’s book (it seemed only fair to get it signed for him since he couldn’t be there), he also let me take a video where he said hi to my partner. He didn’t have to do that. It’s wonderful and incredibly kind that he did.

In short, thank you authors for being awesome.

Should I ever be so lucky as to have a bookstore want me to do signings, I will endeavor to emulate your good example.

And for the record, no matter how many books I publish or if you’d consider yourself my fan–never be intimidated by me. I’m just a nerdy mom who should probably get more sleep.