I would like to share with my readership the exciting (and terrifying) news that my partner and I are expecting our second child.

This will be my third pregnancy.  My first ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks, although we knew by 6 that things were not going to go well.  My second ended in the child I call here “The Little Mistress.”  I am obviously hopeful that this pregnancy will also end in a live birth, but due to my own experiences, know better than to assume that will be the case at this point.

I decided to share the news here as this blog is largely about pregnancy, parenting and sex.  Regardless of the outcome, this experience will have a profound effect on my sexuality regardless.

I am guesstimating that I am about 4 weeks into the 40 weeks of pregnancy at this point.  I know for a fact that I ovulated late, so the math is particularly fuzzy in this situation (although the first lesson of pregnancy is that pregnancy math is fucked up and has little bearing on  reality if you have irregular periods or ovulated early or late).  Your doctor will use your last menstrual cycle…by which I’m already something like 7-8 weeks pregnant, and I expect to be given an initial due date of late October, although by my estimates, November 10-15th is the ACTUAL due date.  After we have some early ultrasounds that show consistent growth, I will badger a due date change out of my doctor.

Sadly, the early stages of pregnancy do not agree with my body.  I am tired.  I am nauseous.  I want to cuddle, but sex is not something I find myself terribly interested in.  Most pregnancy books will tell you that this is okay, and imply that a partner who wants sex is a selfish jerk.  I’m not a fan of this assessment.  Think of the impact of your news on them…they are probably as excited and possibly even more scared.  They want comfort and/or to celebrate this achievement with intimacy.  While you may speak the truth when you say “I’m not in the mood,” there is a point after which it will feel like rejection, as if their part is done and they are no longer necessary, no matter how untrue this might be.  So I urge you to dig deep, eat a saltine, and try.  Even if you fail (and there were times in the LM’s pregnancy when the sentence “get off me, I need to throw up” was uttered…times, plural) your partner WILL appreciate that you are trying.  While your gag reflex may be bothering you…I’ve yet to hear of a pregnancy symptom that made it impossible to give a hand job.

So pregnant sexy mamas…I’m there for you.  I’m there WITH you.  I’ll report back regularly about how things are going and with my best pregnancy sex tips.  As a second time mom…I’m here to tell you, if you think you’re tired NOW…wait until the baby comes.  Now is NOT the time to put your marriage or the sexual health of your marriage last.

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