Today started off so promising. I was feeling a bit boring and stuck in my clothing rut of shorts and a tank top (not the sexy ones you’re thinking of, sadly)–so I decided to wear a thong. Then I put on my bracelet which carries the subtle engraving of the word “slut.” That lifted my spirits, and inspired some sexting between myself and the husband.
Then…within the space of 60-90 minutes…
The not quite 4 year old threw huge tantrum over dinner. I had the nerve to serve chicken and rice–clearly I should be arrested for torture.
The not quite 4 year old pounded on the door while I way trying to pee. No, no going to the toilet alone for you, Mommy.
The 1 year old tried to chew on a shampoo bottle while I had them both in the tub. I sprayed myself with the detachable showerhead as I lunged for the bottle. Again, not in the sexy wet-t-shirt way. In the half drowned rat way. Also sprayed-a big chunk of my bathroom. FUN!
The 1 year old screamed bloody murder when I dared to remove her from the bath and put clothes on her.
The 1 year old protested at the top of her lungs when I had the temerity to put her in the crib so I could finish bathing her sister.
I took the 4 year old into her room and discovered she had colored all over her mirror.
Also–my 4 year old has decided that rather than call me Mommy, she prefers “Mother.” Sigh.
By the time my partner came home, all I wanted to do was come into my bedroom, turn off the lights….and listen to loud rock music or watch West Wing. Not so much with the interactions or the touching or the anything.
Maybe with an hour or two of alone time and loud music I’ll be ready to go find my bracelet again. Or go to sleep. Either seems likes a reasonable conclusion to my day.